I can't stop twiddling my thumbs. I pull my hands apart and laid them out each on a thigh. I look out the window and recognized the street. Then I looked down and realized my fingers were tapping my thigh. To say I was nervous would be bit of an understatement. What if Grams wasn't there. What if she moved? That's not possible though, she loves that house. What if she... passed or something? I know that's a terrible thing to think of but I haven't seen or heard from her in five years. For all I know, she could be... you know... be gone. God, why am I being so pessimistic. It's not that I didn't want to contact her. I did, but I just couldn't. I didn't have a number of grams and mom would refuse to even talk about her. Every time I brought her up, my mom would go ballistic and rage on about how she was trying to control us and tell us what to do. I'm was actually really surprised five years ago when my mom told she was going to live in Maine with her boyfriend and I was coming with. I always thought that when my mom had a chance to leave me she would jump at it. I am my mom's biggest mistake. When she was sixteen, some guy knocked her up. I don't know my father, and I "took away her youth." Although she didn't even really raise me. Grams did all the work. That's why we loved each other. We were so much closer than my mom and I will ever be. Grams had been pressuring my mom into getting a better job or doing something good with her life. Mom finally had enough and left. She ended up following her boyfriend of one week, to Maine (he cheated on her after the third week. None of her boyfriends were good.) I strongly believe the real reason my mom made me go with her was just to hurt Grams. Taking me away from Grams was a hell of a good way to do it. I was startled out of my thoughts by a voice saying "We here." My head snapped up to the taxi driver. I comprehended what he said and then turned my head slowly towards the window. Sure enough, I was staring at my childhood home. The front lawn had a beautiful garden with flowers that I don't know names of. The steps have white, wooded railings that lead to the white porch. When I was small, I used to draw this house as a rectangle with a triangle on top. Handing the cab driver the amount due, I got out, retrieved my bags from the trunk and watched as the driver drove. I can do this. I picked up the duffel, and two big suitcases, then made my way to the door. When I was in front of it, I put the bags down and rang the doorbell. After waiting a minute I rang again. The fears and questions I had came rushing back but vanished when the door abruptly opens.I am staring at my grandma. She looks good and the same, minus the greys in her hair. At first it seemed like she didn't recognize me."Can I help you?" She asked, looking from me to my bags in confusion."It's me Grams." I sad with a shaky voice.He eyes narrowed on my face, then quickly widened. "Lilly?" She said in a disbelieving voice. "Yeah..uh hi." I didn't know what I should have said. Tears pooled in the corner of my eyes and took a step forward to pull her into my arms. She gripped me tightly. Then she pulled back and I can see the tears in her eyes as well. Her eyes roamed me before saying "Oh my god. Look at you." I gave a her a smile and looked down at myself. "Is your mother with you?" She said, her eyes wandering behind me. "No, just me." I wiped my eyes and she did the same. Her eyes went from me to the bags. She immediately took one of the bags and walked inside, saying "Come in-come in." Taking the duffel and other suit case I followed her inside. Then she placed the the bag at the bottom of the stair case and I did the same. I was pulled into another hug and I realized something. "It's so strange how I'm taller than you." She laughed. "I missed you so much." she said. "I missed you too. I'm so sorry I haven't tried contacting you-" "I know your mother. She wouldn't let you." "Well, yeah... but I still should have some how got through to you." I whispered. She tilted my chin down so I was staring into her eyes and said "It doesn't matter sweetie, you're here now." I gave her a small smile and nodded. "Are you hungry? I just finished making myself a batch of oatmeal cookies." She said while turning to head for the kitchen. Ew. "No thanks." She smiled softly at me "Still don't like oatmeal?" I felt tears at the corner of my eyes again. "You know me so well." I love this women. "How did you get here?" She asked, curiosity in her voice. "I flew, and the got a cab." She nodded. " Well, you want me to fix you up something.?" I shook my head. "Not really hungry." "How's Beth?" I shrugged. I wasn't gonna lie and say she was good or okay. " I love that you're here baby cakes but tell me why. Dosed Beth know?" I winced. So hoping she wouldn't ask. I don't quite know how to explain why I'm here. "I told mom I was leaving but she doesn't know that this is where I came." "Was she giving you a hard time or something?" I nodded "Yeah, I guess you can say that." "So you'll be staying here for a while?" I nodded slowly."How long?"I stood quiet."Oh I'm not asking because I want you to go! Sweetie you are welcomed to stay as long as you want.""No I know. I just don't know how long I'm staying," I respond."Okay." She nodded in understanding. "I'll call the high school tonight so you can register and start tomorrow."Going to high school here? That was something I hadn't though of.Then I remember the boys." How are the boys?", I asked. I'm finally going to be able to see them. I watched my grandma's smile falter slightly. "I wouldn't know baby cakes. I haven't seen them in a long time.""Really?"She nodded and her smile came back again. "Don't worry though. I'm sure you'll see them soon. Now take your bags up your room and get some sleep."My room was exactly the same as it was when I left which gave me a sense of nostalgia. The last time I was in this room my best friends were having fun together. I miss those days.
&via=stc_network)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(
Atom
)
0 comments:
Post a Comment